Life as a Study in the Power of Love
I have come to realize my whole life has been a study in the power of love. The first real piece of art I ever created was of the word LOVE. That was 45 years ago and my father still has it in his study. It was made with crayon and water color. I was six, and even then love was at the center of my thoughts. I suppose it has never never been far from my thoughts. I have spent every minute since pondering the thought and meaning of the power of love.
I grew up catholic and love and kindness are an important aspect of catholic life. I loved the prospect of staring at the stained glass in the church. I loved going to church, the idea of beings in history who had learned quite fully the idea of love and what that meant in a practical sense. I read and reread the stories of saints and holy people. I aspired to become a being to whom love was more an action than a theory.
I promised myself as I grew that I would not forget the pain of the unkindness I experienced, I used to meditate on a large rock in a neighbors yard. I would sit on it facing the sun and rocked compulsively back and forth repeating for hours, “I will not forget, I will not forget, I will not forget what it feels like.” It was the only way I had to cope with the life I was living.
This is Going to Make Sense – Right?
I could not make sense of it, I found that the people around me, while decent, did not really live love in action. I found it confused me a great deal. I held the example of Jesus as something I should spend everyday trying to emulate. I took forgiveness and turning the other cheek very seriously. I tried to live it, but the frustration I felt around me built and although I tried, I felt a level of rage and anger that continued to build in me. You cannot hold love and anger at the same time, I found anger was winning. I had taken to using my tongue like a sword and I became masterful at it.
I married and had a child, I still had the part that wanted to be a truly good person, but still the anger, the frustration, the pain of my past haunted me and kept me in anger. It wasn’t until I saw a look on my young daughters face that reminded me of my own experiences as a child and all the years of meditating and promising to not forget hit me like a bolt of thunder and I realized who I had become. I had become like every other adult, too caught up in my own life to be who I was meant to be. Now I understand that I had lost my innocence and I had lost my way.
My twenties were then relegated to getting back on track and becoming who I was meant to be. I realized in time it was the power of love that changed me. The look in my daughters eyes was enough to change me. I loved her far more than I loved my anger. It took years to conquer the demons that existed in me, but I began to change who I was immediately. I adopted a very simple idea that my family deserved the best I had to offer, that I had no right to offer a stranger kindness if I did not do so in my home with the people I truly loved the most. I realized that if I stopped the insane notion of pretending to be a good person, I actually had the ability to become a good person.
I had an epiphany at the age of 25 that I could not please everyone. I had spent 25 years of my life trying to please everyone, as I had been taught to do. I found that it was making me miserable and no one was actually pleased in any way. I learned I had to live for myself, for my own reasons and with my own will. I knew without a doubt I wanted to be a person I could truly be proud of. I was a believer and in my belief I will one day have to face God. I would have to look God in the eye and own every step, every thought, every emotion and every action. That understanding changed my life. It altered me and began a journey where I promised to try to not regret any action, thought or emotion. It is a journey that will continue far beyond this life.
I work with clients all over the world. It is my honor, my calling and my joy to work with the many souls who contact me and seek assistance. There is nothing more amazing than seeing an individual transform their life because someone shows them what love actually is. In the 26 years I have lived since that epiphany, I have come to see people more clearly. I used to think good or bad, and now, well there is more grey than anything between black and white. I see a planet of wounded people who try so hard and want to be decent, and instead in their pain and woundedness do the things that bring them shame and self hatred.
I Love the Golden Rule
My beliefs are simple. I believe in the golden rule – I love the golden rule. I believe in tough love when necessary. I believe in never asking someone to do something for you that you would not be willing to do for them. I believe in truth, but not truth that wounds, unless the wound is necessary for the healing. I believe in the power of love.
I have lived a difficult life, one that has made me strong, but one that at times tests my hope, but ultimately I believe in love. I believe in the power of love. I have watched sincere people change themselves so deeply that it brings tears to my eyes. When a good person comes to me, heart wounded, soul in pain and confusion, not understanding the lack of love on the planet, thinking the problem is them, and in time begin to embrace an understanding of what love is, what it means, what it takes to live it and how it makes them feel to be proud of their efforts instead of ashamed, it is the greatest feeling in the world. It is why I believe in the power of love. It is why I work with others.
All Life Really is Sacred
Physics has now proved that we are all connected. It is a given. We are all one – yet we are all separate. I use this knowledge to govern my actions. By that fact, if I hurt another I hurt myself. If I do not exhibit the self control it takes to be kind, I hurt someone, if I allow the moment and the pressures of life to overwhelm me, I can forget that the person standing in front of me is just as sacred as I am and deserves to be treated with respect. This is how I try to live a life without regret.
It has taken decades of meditation for the split second of awareness that there is something bigger and more important than me in this moment. I can pay attention to what is really going on instead of projecting what I think is going on based on what I am going through and actually be present for whatever is right in front of me. That is all I get – a split second to remember that everyone is sacred, pay attention.
The Power of Love is Real
That is what it takes to truly begin to know love. Awareness of your own intentions, your own motivations and the ability to put them aside to be present for something other than you. It means tempering the ego to where there is no need to call awareness to yourself in the moment. In the moment, the other person counts more than you. Love is that simple. There is something more important than you and it needs a moment for you to pull yourself together and be present for it. It means we decide to care for something other than our wants. It means the needs of others come before our wants. It means we decide to be genuinely decent and present no matter who is before us.
Failure is Inherent in Life
A life lived towards no regrets is a life full of failures. There is never a day where I don’t fail in some way to live up to my own standards. I teach my children and my clients that failure is inherent in life. No matter how hard we try, we will fail. It is through failure that we learn. If we can fail with grace (in this case grace is instant forgiveness of our own actions without letting ourselves off the hook for responsibility of the outcome), we can strive to become who we want to be. It gives us courage to overcome our failures. It builds our strength and our character and offers a model for others who are seeking a different path.
Harnessing the Power of Love
If we can harness the power of love, we can truly change the world one person – one heart – one soul at a time. By the way, we start with ourselves. The old adage – Physician heal thyself – is kind of a warning.. if we choose to go out and play with the souls and the natures of others without making sure we are in the right place within ourselves, the karma is on us.. because the power of love is real, and there are consequences for our mistakes.